Have you ever found yourself constantly trying to please others, forgetting to prioritize your own happiness and authenticity? How deep does this run? Let me tell you a story about a girl from El Paso who learned a very valuable lesson about staying true to herself. Through faith, resilience, and a lot of difficult times, I managed to rise above challenging circumstances and build a life I am proud of. My life in El Paso was not easy, as a child, as a teen nor as an adult. Before I was 15, drugs, abuse of all kinds, violence, 911 calls, and alcohol were a regular occurance in my life. I witnessed things no child should ever experience. It shaped my life.

Then, all I knew became a part of my life. I used to be ashamed but I learned. My life became all I ever knew, and it wasn’t good. I understood love as violent. I understood drugs and alcohol were the only answer. I understood betrayal, pain, fear, neglect and sadness as everyday emotions. And my over-joyed loving self was always put to shame. I understood, very clearly, that I was “different.” Many teachers (nuns) would humor me with insults and spiritual abuse, as well as family members, telling me the devil lived inside me because I was so frustrating to adults. Too many questions, too loud, too much, period.

This child knew nothing else but violence, anger, death and fear. But I fought to teach myself differently. I fought to stand up for myself. I fought to change the stats and get out of what studies showed my future would be. I would no longer live for others, I would no longer allow others to walk all over me, insult me or have the power to shape my future.

I fought to steer away from people-pleasing which came so naturally with drug addicts, abuse, violence and alcoholics around me. I studied many psychology books and many therapists to teach myself otherwise. One day, I came to a realization, it was like I suddenly woke up, it clicked. Saying NO, was no longer a problem for me. No matter how much we give, there will always be those who expect more; people who are never satisfied. Sound familiar? As women, we often fall into the trap of people-pleasing, going above and beyond to make others happy. Or maybe as individuals who relate to the abuse, drugs and alcohol, maybe that’s where your people-pleasing and hurting yourself.

But at what cost? Never forget that we are worthy of love and understanding too.

For me, the girl from humble El Paso embodies my own resilience, much like the community I come from. Many of them had it much worse than me, I was the “lucky” one. They fought hard for their place in this world. They are loyal, strong in their faith, and never give up. Being Latina gives me a sense of pride and inspires me to embrace the lessons I’ve learned along the way. My deep faith carried me through my own difficult journey. Believing in something greater always gave me the strength to persist, no matter the challenge, over and over again. Even when faced with difficult situations to this day, I lean on my faith as a source of guidance and support. Connecting with a higher power brings comfort and the assurance that I'll overcome anything. When I reflect, I stand taller, recalling my past and being proud of who I've become. I've learned to rise after every fall, no matter how many times life has knocked me down. 

Embracing growth has become my greatest strength. In a world where others may try to steal our joy or dampen our spirits, it's crucial to remember our true worth. People have called me "A LOT" and "Too Loud," but I'm unwavering in the knowledge that God designed me to be "A lot!" I need to be A LOT to do A LOT back, to give A LOT back. By staying true to myself and holding onto my faith, I can conquer any obstacle. I already have, so why not again the next time, the time after that and next time again. Over and over.

Let this encourage you to embrace your uniqueness and stand fiercely in your truth. Your truth is your freedom. Remember, with faith and resilience you will always come out on top. I remind myself it’s okay to seek my own happiness and well-being, remaining true to myself. The strength and resilience within us are no accident. Draw inspiration from your roots, from your pain, from your experience and lead with unwavering faith. With faith as your guide, you'll consistently win at the game of life!