Entre-What?

I always dreamed of being a business owner. I really don’t know why but since I was a kid I wanted that. Then one day as a teenager I remember in high school I learned what an “entrepreneur” was. I also remember I could not pronounce the word or spell it. So I tried my best to remember the description so I could remember. Because I distinctly said, “THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO BE!”  Maybe because I saw how hard my mom’s life was and I wanted to make sure mine wasn't as hard? Maybe because I knew my dad’s family owned their own grocery market and I used to hear the stories around town of people buying things from my grandmother and father. As though I could see the transaction taking place. The grocery mart that still sits right at the border of Mexico. I can hear the stories of, “I would buy candy from your dad, it was just a nickel when I was a kid!” I would envision it. Maybe because I saw my mom work endlessly trying to provide every experience for us so we could have a better future. My mom had a regular full time job, then she had a lot of side gigs. Making cakes, being a landlord, part-time work campaigning local and state politicians. Yes, I have been door-knocking, in parades and several late night campaign rallies. No matter what, my mom was moving around getting things done. But in between all of that she was always helping people. 

When I learned what an entrepreneur was, I remember all the titles of careers were boring, then that word, I wanted to know what that was! Hearing the description turned my head, wait, entre-what? Whatever that word was, I liked it!! It sounded like I could be my own boss, is that right?  I can “do what I want?” So be it! Little Tracy totally wanted to do “Whatever she wanted!” Who am I kidding, big Tracy wants to do the same! I was young enough to connect owning my own business, “doing what I want,” meant I could help who I wanted. I knew somehow, some way I wanted to help people. 

Maybe I wanted to own my own business for the need to “get out of dodge.” With a difficult and challenging childhood, all I wanted was freedom, to run far from where I was. Living with an alcoholic father, (I’m sure we will get to more of that another day.) abusive towards my mother and yet so unconditionally loving, this loving father was definitely a contributor amongst many other reasons to get out of dodge. All I know is that I dreamt a lot as a child, and still do. 

When my father died, I went everywhere with my sister and brother. They weren’t too fond of it, but they dragged me around with them. My sister worked at this little local coffee shop, Dolce Vita. It was where the “cool kids” would hang and I was the younger sister that sat in the corner of the coffee shop waiting until my sister was done with work. Wait…..Is that why I was obsessed with FRIENDS!! No! It’s because let’s face it, FRIENDS was the GREATEST!!! 

I remember people-watching a lot. While I was not a very attentive child, I remember being soaked into the ambiance of the people, who fully had my attention. I also remember my sister being very caffeinated! Haha! I fell in love with the people-watching, the camaraderie and the cool vibe of gathering around music. All of it. The happiness.

I am ambitious, loud, caring and quick on my feet, I dabbled in everything and quite frankly still do. I was fearless! Then this fearless girl got knocked off track after grieving the death of my father at the age of 16 and naturally I changed. I didn’t realize it, I didn’t know it was happening or why, but I was forever changed.  I worked, worked and worked. Then I partied, partied and you guessed it, partied more. My teen grief turned into escapism at it’s finest. Then came 18, the first opportunity to move and I took it. I moved to a place I never even visited, Virgiana. For those who live there, aka “DC.” My mom always encouraged us to explore life and travel. She knew what she wanted for us, and it was better than what she had. Since my traveling sister settled in VA, I followed a year later. 

Let’s fast forward to the time I told you was the first time I was able to reduce down to two jobs. I remember the moment of celebrating that milestone at 28 yrs old. Education can’t teach you hustle and perseverance. Experience can. Maybe that’s why I became a business owner, because I was tired? That doesn't even sound right but it’s the way I thought of it. I wanted to be home and available more for my two kids and as a single mom, I was determined to get there. 

I was tired of corporate America and climbing ladders, especially as a woman in a male dominated world. I had some incredible leaders along the way to teach me and help me grow. While I was successful and a top producer, I wanted more for my family. As a single mom, I had to focus on that and that end result alone. I didn’t want them to have the same kind of hardships. Throughout all the years, I was always dabbling in entrepreneur activities. Selling candy at school, baked goods everywhere, making and selling jewelry where I could, I even attempted t-shirts, whatever I could do, I tried to create! I was in love with creating! The dream was always whispering in every thought and decision I made. Make this and sell it!! This will make you a business owner, you can finally be that word, “Entrepreneur!” I felt like I would get a cape and stand like superwoman if I ever got there. Stay with me, I am a dreamer, I envision everything. 

Becoming a business owner is no easy task. When I tell others I have other entrepreneurships at play, they think I’m crazy (except other entrepreneurs) as busy as I am. I get so inspired, I can’t stop! I get to decide what I can do, and who I can help, and that is so rewarding. To have the ability to impact others and connect. I just love it. (see what I did there?)  I am not limited to who I can impact or reach. I can help everyone, or at least I can try to. I can create moments and memories. I can teach and lead others to be better than I found them so they can turn around and help someone in their very own life journey. I hope to encourage and change their lives for only the good. I have the ability to give back and use my own platform. And I get to do this with my sister! (hearts) Seriously, I have chills. 

 Ask any business owner, and they will tell you it’s true, blood, sweat and tears is just the beginning of owning a business. That doesn’t even touch the surface. I have a new outlook and a new desire to help in such a bigger platform. I will get there, I know I will. I look forward to telling you so much more. But for now, if there is anything I could share with those who desire more is to listen to your inner voice. BREATHE. Believe in yourself. And begin to build your dreams. Trust your instincts!! Your knowledge is your power. You are capable. 

I may not have a cape, but with God beside me, it sure feels like I do.