Peter Changed My Life
For writing goodness! 2018, the voice was loud and clear, I couldn’t stop it if I tried, it was time to leave my 9-5. This single mom didn’t see how, but knew I had to. I’ve always been a risk-taker, why stop now I thought…
I shared this with a friend, and we prayed over the it. In March 2018, I leaped. I was obedient, and as crazy as I thought it might be, I listened to the voice of “TRUST IN ME.” God provided IMMEDIATELY, he solidified my obedience over and over. Once I left my 9-5, I received job offers that I always dreamed of achieving. It was everything I just hustle and worked so hard for, to get those jobs, this titles, those achievements. Very prestige in my line of work, but it was just a new shiny jewel I’d be chasing, it would’ve never fulfilled my spirit. Instead I gave it all up I left I all behind to start again.
Many moments I went down on my knees, praying, asking God the big question, why? I can imagine so many of us have this thorn on our side, the question why, questioning God. The distrust in what he is capable of, because that’s what it was, distrust. I wanted the answers now, I didn’t want to wait on God. It was so confusing at times, my heart and head hurt. I would catch myself repeating this mind loop and the I would stop. Stop, breathe and remember why I did what I did, why I left it all behind. This single mom of two, left it all with no plan but trust. I trusted in Him and him alone. I knew wholeheartedly that He was in control. Ahh….the confidence my heart gained knowing just that……beautiful.
Each day he continued to teach me an abundance of knowledge. I was incredibly blessed with the experience and opportunities around me. 2018 is where I began my mornings rituals with him and ended my day with him. I was always a praying mama but never had the gospel as part of my routine. Now, I couldn’t step away from the gospel, I wanted so much more.
This is where it began. The deeper understanding of Gods love. The sound of the delicate pages as they turned, the energy covering me as I read, the peace in my heart as my eyes followed each scripture, it was nothing but serenity. This book has been an important part of my life, it’s been sacred. It was sacred as a rule. Not a understanding and desire. The difference between the two brought me new life. The stillness in my heart knowing I was saved. Knowing how incredibly loved I am. The understanding in my being. The calmness of my breath. All of it, overwhelming me with joy.
He’d been trying to teach me that I need to STOP THE PLANNING! If I look back, he’s been attempting to show me this my whole life. As I let go and let Him, I see.
My heart was at peace through this transition, truly I was placid. I could say this was a first in my life, to feel peace. A new level of enlightenment, a new spiritual level and growth. I was exactly where I needed to be, for that moment of life. I matured.
He placed me in front of every instruction I needed for my next stage of life. I didn’t know how long he would keep me here, but there I stayed. He burrowed in, and my joy lifted. The calming peace through all of this was I was certain he was the one leading me. That transition was such an incredible lesson for me. God was equipping me the entire time, but little did I know.
It was no longer about promotions and titles. It was about people. When I look back at all my writings, it is and has always been about people. It’s about how I can make an impact, it’s about how I can help others. My heart has an incredible desire to serve.
When I finished the Book of Acts, I sobbed. I learned so much through my readings. I felt very connected to Peter, I “got him.” I am forever grateful for Peter’s story, because of Peter, I learned so much about myself. I feel so much closer to God. Maybe because I felt his pain when he realized what he did by denying Jesus three times. The moment he realized he couldn’t take it back, it was too late, the shame was agony on Peter. Like I said, I “got him.”
Peter loved Jesus so very much, and he made the worst mistake of his life. But God came back to him, he came back to Simon (Peter) and Jesus asked Simon if he loved him. Matter of fact, Jesus has him that question THREE times. It’s Peter story that helped me learn obedience. It’s Peter that helped me see Grace and eternal love. To feel so much shame and guilt, then to be loved like Jesus loved him, it's beautiful. It’s the type of beauty you want to share with everyone. This kind of Grace.
Reading Book of Acts brought me a new understanding of myself. I needed to change what was in my heart, the parts that hindered me. To continue to teach me to keep faith and when I feel alone and confused about my journey, I am reminded that I am never alone. Because even alone, He is all I will ever need.
The reward for trusting Him, will be the salvation of our soul. 1 Peter 1:9
