When Sadness Creeps in
I want to listen with patience. I want to embody love. I want to love myself first so that I may be a better mother, daughter, sister and friend. Close your mouth Tracy, open your ears, listen. The impulsivity in me tends to speak to quickly, misleading love. I catch myself interrupting sometimes, ok maybe not sometimes, maybe more like less often. Luckily, I don’t have to check a box here.
This is something I’m actively working on, making sure people know I hear them. I’m listening. Teaching myself to slow my words, release my anger in healthy ways, and forgive. I’ve let go of unhealthy habits many moons ago, God saved me from that life. Now I pray that I only speak Godly words and especially to myself. Again, I am human and growing everyday to be better than my yesterday. I hear, Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12
When my sadness creeps in, so does my anger. The hurt I feel deep down. I often wonder if anyone else feels this way and how they escape safely. The D word was not to be spoken growing up. Depression. As I grew older, I felt it. I was unaware and ashamed to speak of it, throwing me into spirals. But in the deepness of pain and sadness I can’t explain, I found a love for truth. Many of us struggle and many of us are so ashamed to say, “Today was hard to breathe.”
My desire is no more fronts. Simply human. In time I will uncover my trauma, but for now I share my truth with mental health throughout my life. Women (and men) need to see that they are not aliens, they do not need to be ashamed nor feel so alone. Life can be really hard, super messy at times. My faith keeps me coming back wiser, but those dark moments can be scary. Family and friends are heroes and in a world of social where life seems to be picture perfect, my hope is you find strength within yourself to get back up as you see more women share their truth. Sometimes we live two worlds in one day, but I remember this on uneven days…..
God has never looked in the mirror and wished he saw someone else. God is not shaking his head at you. We weren’t just an idea God hoped would work out. We were one of his most creative expressions of love, ever! (Unknown)
If that doesn’t make you stand tall, I’m not sure what will………
